Recipes - To Share Or Not To Share

Recipes are heritage pieces that get passed down from generation to generation, well guarded, enjoyed by so many, yet not always given away.  They can be sacred pieces of history in some families, never fully revealed to any but the inner circle.   Recipes are closely held  for many, while others freely share their cooking secrets with those who ask.  Sometimes there are special creations that are your own signature dishes and keeping them is like guarding your heart.

In the space of 24 hours I had received two emails requesting recipes for various dishes that were made and shared with friends and family in the past week. My husband recently made his specialty chocolate cake for a wedding and was asked for the recipe.  These are sort of signature recipes that we each have and I find myself very protective and reluctant to share them.   Can recipes be compared to love?    Love was never meant to be hoarded and held only within us, but it is to be generously, tenderly and wisely shared from our depths so we see the world with deeper truth and honesty.  Are not recipes like this?  They are one of the tools we use to create dishes that nurture us, that bring us together in the intimate place of breaking bread with each other and provide us with life giving ingredients.

Yet recipes are something of the heart.  There are many of us who are very cautious as to who we share our hearts with and others are like open books.  I read once, and I cannot find the reference, that when you bring your cooking to the table you are letting everyone there see your soul.  Much of what we hold within us we guard and protect.

My husband’s Mom used to make her special sponge cake with fresh strawberries in summer time and it has become a family celebration dessert.  I never met my mother-in-law as she passed away a number of years before my husband and I met.  My family always used to make red velvet cake for celebrations.  My youngest brother used to joke that he wanted a red velvet cake for his wedding cake!   When David and I got married, he (David) made both the sponge cake with strawberries and the red velvet cake for guests to enjoy at our celebration!   The recipes for both of these have come from our separate families and become part of ‘our’ collection of celebration foods.

Special dishes are also very personal and can be a part of our own unique way of sharing special moments and giving to others.   I love to make my own version of paella when we have a larger gathering round our table.  This summer it was such a great celebration having 3 of my 5 brothers and their families gathered on our deck.  I first had  paella in Barbados, prepared by a wonderful friend and cook, and then it was one of the dishes that I learned to make in cooking school.  It symbolizes, for me, that all we need is there, like community, but we must reach for it, share it, and enjoy it together.  I don’t have an exact recipe for this meal and it seems to be slightly different every time it is prepared, and I love to prepare it for guests.

Recipes come with memories of places and times in life we wish to hold onto and keep precious and maybe by giving that away we feel as if what we hold dear will somehow not be the same anymore.   Many dishes I make came by way of someone sharing how they made it along the way!   Other creations came from what I learned from my Grandmothers, one Canadian and one Irish, and traditional dishes they made for us as we were growing up.   They are like stories, created, tasted, absorbed and passed along.   My Canadian Grandmother’s recipe box sits along with my husband’s basket full of loose recipes.  Maybe one day they will be passed along to someone else - it would be so wonderful if they were shared!